I decided to post this other worldly true tale from what I laughingly call my life due to the recent flurry of interest in UFOs (or, as the government chooses to call them, UAPs).

I’ll stick with UFOs or, in this case, UFPs. Say whaaat? Oh, just keep reading…

I admit I have a probably boring life by many of your standards. However, that doesn't mean my life is "normal,” darlings.

If you are new to these shores, I mean, the Brazen Hussies (I am writing this still exhausted and sleep deprived after the tech support night from hell, so be patient), you may not know about what more than one person has referred to as – ta da (drum roll, please) -- the Sher Curse.

I won't go through all the details of again but one small yet rather famous (I say that because I am a legend in my own time) example of the Sher Curse are "tree attacks.”

Yep, trees crashing into my house and flattening the only new car I ever owned (on my birthday), then another time lightning hit a tree across the street and somehow the lightning bounced into my yard to fry my pond fish. And there was the nutcase neighbor who "channeled" a robotic voice saying I should move to a little rental house after the second tree from her yard crashed into the roof of my house, propelling me out of my office chair (only the chimney, which caught a limb of that tree saved my life, most likely).

Or maybe the whole Sher Curse started long, long ago when I was doing some work for some bigwigs in the City of Atlanta - terrific men I liked, by the way -- and I came home to my little apartment to find a headless black rooster inside a circle of blood in front of my door. Huh? I was told by some of the folks I was working with it was a voodoo curse.

All together now -- HUH?
It’s true, darlings…. Truly.

Several years later I moved to a house not far from this one (I rented out this one for a while to Renters From Hell - an entirely different chapter of the Sherry Curse I'll ramble on about some other tiempo).

A pest control guy went into the deep recesses of the attic of the nearly 100 year old house I'd moved to - he needed to set a trap to remove a racoon. He soon came downstairs (the guy, not the raccoon), looking pale and carrying a long skeleton (he said it was a rooster but, if so, it was huge) and breathlessly told me "There's evidence of some kind of voodoo ceremony up there long ago!!"

No, I don't believe in voodoo or curses but it is, you must admit, weird.

But I digress from the subject at hand: Unidentified Flying Pizza (UFP).

My point, and I do have one, is that my life can best be described as a Bad B Movie. And it can often be illustrated by Bad B Movie posters.
Hence, the illustration.

I swear to you, all of the above and the UFP report below are absolutely true stories. Yeah, I find them hard to believe, too, but I was there.

Sooooooo, here's the UFP installment: My phone blasted out a warning late one night that a flood watch was in effect and horrendous flooding was expected. Huh? No. We'd had clear, dry weather. Apparently, however, my phone was calling for help as it was dying; it had been acting totally wonky for days earlier and the screen was going out.

I drove my then 19 year old car I bought to replace my cursed new one (I'll never risk a new one again, not when there are attack trees around) to the repair place I'd used before at a strip mall (with no apartments or pizza places around - details to remember).

I was told the phone repair thing was easy peasy, they'd call me in an hour or two and it should be fixed.

BUT, before I left, a guy who works there rushed through the door yelling, “ IT... IT ALMOST HIT ME!!!!! I was walking and it just MISSED ME!! "

He turned to go out the door, turned around and yelled again, pointing upward: " IT CAME OUT OF THE SKY!!!!"

What???? A meteorite? Bird poop? Aliens from OUTER SPACE?
Why, no.
A piece of pizza.

Yes, I was witness to a man who narrowly escaped from potential injury from a UFP – an unidentified flying pizza slice. Kind of weird, I’d say.

I walked out the door and several people were staring up at the sky. Another guy yelled he saw something coming down, hard. It landed in the parking lot in one piece: another frozen pizza slice.

The theory from the witnesses was that the pizza must have fallen out of an (invisible?) helicopter hovering nearby.

So, the point to this Sher Curse episode (by the way, my phone wasn’t fixed and my AC died on the way home… but that’s just a side note) is to remember --WATCH THE SKIES!!!

And please report back on any UFP (Unidentified Flying Pizza) sightings.