We’ve all heard the old adage that asks why should men marry us when they can get the milk for free, but who likes to be compared to a cow? Unfortunately, some men still live by that worn out phrase from a bygone era (good riddance), but what about the women? Isn’t the real question why should women buy the entire pig just to get a little piece of sausage?

I recently posted a meme on social media that posed that very question. I got crickets from the men (even the usual suspects failed to comment or even click like, except for one gay friend), but many “chirps” and laughs from women. Why?

Your guess is as good as mine, but here is my guess anyway.  Stop reading now if you don’t want to know my theory. Men are threatened by the idea of women judging them by the size of their sausage, and they are further threatened by the idea of sisters doing it for themselves (insert dildo joke here or insert dildo anywhere you’d like; I won’t judge).

And don’t deny that you do it for yourselves. I’ve heard you through various cheap apartment complex walls over the years when you were the only and the lonely. But is that what women really want?

The answer, like most answers to questions like this, is both yes and no. Yes, we do want to do it for ourselves, and sometimes it is not just because we don’t have a man, but the answer  is also no—we do not want to do this for ourselves, yet we are doing this for ourselves precisely because we don’t have a man.   Like a lot of things in life, it’s a mixed bag. 

Whether you want to sort through this bag or not is up to you. All women are different, and the super religious and uptight ones may not want to consider this at all since sex before marriage is still out the question for them, even in the 21st century.  (You Catholic girls can wait much too late, as Billy Joel noted decades ago, and that has not changed for the very faithful of any religious ilk.) 

The bottom line, at least for me, is that while most men are pigs, but I am still in the mood for pork. If they don’t treat me right, I can always fry them up for breakfast sausage.  NOTE: Not to bore you, but I just found out that a male pig is actually called a boar. I am choosing to keep the term sow simply because it rhymes, so please grant a poetic license to this city girl!  (More wit and snit coming soon from Mel. Stay tuned… and stay BRAZEN!)